[Danielle Balocca]: Hey listeners, this is Danielle. And Shelley. Shelley is a radical Dravidian and racial equity activist.
[Chelli Keshavan]: And Danielle is a community mobilizer and changemaker. And this is the Medford Bites podcast. Every two weeks, we chew on the issues facing Medford and deliver bites of information about the city by lifting the expertise of our guests.
[Danielle Balocca]: Join us in discussion about what you hope for the future of Medford. And as always, tell us where you like to eat. All right, thanks for being here with me today. If you don't mind introducing yourself just with your name, pronouns, and a bit about who you are.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm Jennifer Miller. My pronouns are she, her, hers. Well, I'm a mental health Councilor turned drama teacher turned retreat holder.
[Danielle Balocca]: Great, thank you. And before we get into, I think we're going to talk a lot about the retreats and some of your upcoming events here in Medford. But before we do that, I just want to ask you the question that I ask everybody on the podcast, which is, what is your favorite place to eat in Medford and what do you like to eat there?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I actually think this was just said on your podcast, but I'm just going to go with it, because even when I was living in Somerville, I went there. So I'm going to say Bocelli's. They've just make a really mean clam sauce with linguine, and it's comfort food to me.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, I've never been there, but people mention it a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
[Danielle Balocca]: Great. Cool. So I think we were introduced to learn a little bit more about your retreat. So I understand it's called Taking Time Retreat. So I'm wondering if you could just share with us what prompted you to start this, what it is, what you want us to know about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure, sure. So my business is Taking Time Retreats. The retreat that, actually, it's a summer camp this year. So this year is the inaugural summer camp called Taking Time on the Cape. So sort of the inspiration was, like I said, my background is in mental health counseling, but I always did a lot more body-based work, even with the students that I worked with, more somatics, like bottom-up. So I'm working as a teacher in a school right now. And the teachers that I was working with have gone through a lot. So we obviously went through the pandemic that everyone went through. We went through, but then our building actually collapsed. And so we got moved to Tufts and then we got moved to the Edgerly building. So I'm in Somerville right now. So they were, obviously very stressed out. We're coming back from the hardest time in our history and with all these moves. So I had a teacher who actually asked me to run a retreat. And I had gone to retreats, I had run some private ones outside of school. So I was really excited because this is, in my next life, this is where I wanted to go. We did it, and what I realized, these connections that you make with people, the way you can get in touch with just kind of who they are in a level that just feels so comfortable. We used art, we used movement, we laughed way too much. So that was the logical step for me. But I was sort of inspired because When I was thinking of retreats, I really wanted to do something with women. I have the best friends on the planet. The happiest times I've ever been is just connecting with other women and learning from other women. And there are a million yoga retreats, and there are a million mental health retreats and mindful things. But there is this place in France called Camp Chateau. And so it was specifically a camp for women. And I had this aha moment. So I had this moment, what if there was a place where women could get together and they didn't have to be yogis, and they didn't have to only want to do outdoorsy things? What if they wanted to be taken care of like they take care of their family, I think, you know, to To generalize, I think that we are very much caretakers in so many aspects of our life that we don't stop and necessarily give that. And of course, you can do it on a vacation or you can do it by just resting, but not mindfully leaning into things that your body needs, things that bring you joy, making art with other people, making connections with other people. It is my deepest belief that there is no other healing that happens outside of connection. So I just I didn't want to limit it to say, oh, we're going to I'm going to run a yoga retreat and cut out so many people that could really benefit from from this connection. So yeah, so then I repartnered with this woman, Lindsay Singleton. Back in the day, to go back to the acting thing, I actually used to do these violence prevention shows around the country. So we would do a show on domestic abuse, and she was actually the clinician, and I was the actor. So we really worked well together, and then when we splintered off, she started working for Endicott College, and she was running all these retreats, and she was a Councilor for them. She has her own private practice, and so when we started talking, this moment just, it was a convergence of ideas. I said, what if, you know, women go to this beautiful place where everything is beautiful to look at, it's warm, it's comfortable. If they walk out the door and they turn their head, there's a cantina of water. When they want to go to the beach, there is a bag packed for them with snacks and drinks and everything, they don't have to think about it. What if they want to wake up and do yoga? What if they want to talk about the fact that their menopausal bodies are changing? And there's so much going on in there. I said, what if we could do all of it? And they just feel held. And so she was really excited. And so that's how Taking Time on the Cape was born.
[Danielle Balocca]: It sounds really cool. I think that what you're describing, caregivers, women, teachers, the people that spend a lot of their time caring for other people, it sounds like, from experience, can be a really isolating thing. We know other people go through it. Maybe we even have our own individual therapist that we talk about that with, but being able to get together with people that have a shared experience It sounds like very healing and also just like a nice kind of time out to be cared for. I'm curious like how many people you're you're wanting to or you're expecting to join.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we have capacity. So there were two different models that we played with. So at first, we rented the space for five days. And then after thinking about it and talking, many women said that five days felt like a huge ask to get away from their families. So we went down to two different sessions. So it's August 18th through the 21st, and then the 21st through the 24th. And so each session we can hold up to 40 women and our minimum is 30 women. So yeah.
[Danielle Balocca]: Cool. Yeah, I guess I'm wondering like what you hope like the impact to be for for the city of Medford.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, I just, I know every single woman I meet here, I've made some amazing connections. We moved here in 2019. I think the connection that I want, the impact I want to make in Medford is that it gives women space to just be their authentic self, to do the thing. So each year I go on a women's retreat that's completely bare bones. It is not Lululemon, it is very real humans doing real things, and it's all women. And I joke with my husband because I'll go to the retreat, it's only three days, When I leave there, I'm so much more productive. I'm more available emotionally to my family. I'm more emotionally available to my friends. And so I always say to him, I'm OK. I only have 364 days left now. So, you know, and my son's in soccer here in Medford, and I've met some amazing women in soccer, and they're all just, we're just so busy, and I even, I have two best friends in Medford that we will, We're moments from each other and just connecting is so hard. So what, I mean, this is gonna sound totally Pollyanna, but I want everyone to connect like that. I want everyone to feel this sense of joy that I, and I don't think it's frivolous at all. I think that there are moments in our life that frivolity is really, really important, like vacations where you don't have to think about a thing, But this feels more like you're carving out space to make true connections. I mean, you may want to sit on the beach and not talk to anyone, but there's going to be one person that you connect with. And I honestly believe that that's the only way that people transform, that people get re-energized. It's through each other. It's through relationships. And so I want them to make relationships.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, that's great. I hear that. So it's interesting that you moved here in 2019, like right before COVID. And I feel like that was for us to like um when you know everyone was at home or like just kind of confined to their neighborhoods that's when i met ifa who introduced us and we you know we have this group that meets every friday to like for exercise but it's become this like i like the some of the most valuable connections right like other moms who have kids at the same school who are kind of dealing with the same kind of lifetime things and it's like we only see you know we see each other one hour a week but it's turned into like this great group of friends and like You know, I think for anybody to have that connection, Medford is full of like great women, I think just great people. And so to be able to connect those people is awesome. And I heard that you're starting, you wanted to talk a little bit about the meetups that you're starting too, just in Medford.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, so this was more inspired by the climate of what we're going through. So in my family, we adopted a daughter from Mexico. She identifies as non-binary. And so one of the things for us is, I mean, I think previous to this, are strong believers in equal rights and human rights. And I think that right now, a lot of people are feeling scared. A lot of people are feeling pressure. I know the last time this happened, I kind of went dark and squirrelly. I didn't do the things that I would tell all of my clients to do. When I was counseling, I just scrolled Facebook waiting for an answer to pop up that miraculously would fix everything. And surprisingly, it never happened, not even once. So this time, I knew that to sit at home and wring my hands and go over what is happening in isolation felt felt kind of more decadent almost. I have the privilege to sit and worry and not talk and connect and act. So I decided that I'm sure that there are other people right now feeling the same thing. And again, I know that there are so many wonderful men doing so many wonderful things. My husband's one of them. He's a great man. He's an amazing ally. But I Deep in my heart, I know that when women get together, transformation really happens. And I think it can easily feel silenced sometimes if there's not enough female voices. It can feel silenced. So what I came up with is an idea called Wicked Mindful Women, because we're in Boston, so wicked. And it's just an idea to come together. I connected with this woman on Facebook, Mindy. She's going to be helping me with it. But the way the structure will work is we're going to meet bimonthly. The hope is that we learn to, I kind of said, we're not at the healing stage, because we're still going through things, but maybe we can start putting salve on our wounds. We can actively protect what is hurting as we're moving forward, and then we can prioritize. So the idea is all the people at the table will come up with some ideas on what is important to them, what they're struggling with, And so we'll start in, we'll start personal, and we'll start with healing, and then we'll start with prioritizing action. And then what we would love to do is have a space, so probably a virtual space where people can put action items on. So things that are happening in our community. I know that there are food banks. I know that there are lawyers that are kind of doing the thing. I know that there's Councilors who are ready to support. And so how wonderful would it be if there's one central place that people just knew, if I pop on this website, I'm going to be able to like scoop up any action item and get going and get really start getting to work.
[Danielle Balocca]: That's great. When is this starting?
[SPEAKER_02]: This next Thursday, so we're gonna be at deep cuts. They gave us the back room. So we have plenty of space We you know, mrs. Murphy's when you open Yeah, so but we're um, so they're deep cuts is being amazing they're like, yep, go on do do all the things and so we'll be there and Yeah, and you know who knows it could be great could could not but I figure anytime there's awesome people in a room, magic happens.
[Danielle Balocca]: And that's Galentine's Day, I think.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know!
[Danielle Balocca]: How can people find out more information or how to get involved or connect with you?
[SPEAKER_02]: So they can always go. So I have my retreat website, which is takingtimeretreats.com. Or I am on Facebook. I'm on the Medford family, Medford moms and dads. I'm posting things right now. So I've posted a flyer for the event. But they can also I mean, I'm happy if people email me. It's Jennifer Miller at taking time retreats calm so So that's a that's a great way to do that Thank you.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, I can put all that stuff in our show notes for people Is there anything else that you that we forgot to talk about or that you want to make sure people know about?
[SPEAKER_02]: I think what I want people to talk about is whether it is on the summer in the Cape with me, which I think is the best idea, or in their living room with their besties, or at an amazing restaurant in Medford, don't go in right now. Like right now is definitely not the time to just hunker down. Now is the time to reach out to the people you love, reconnect with that person that maybe you just lost a little touch with. Now is the time to find a way to be with people in joy. You know, I keep hearing this and And when you're darkest, it sounds really trite, but I think it is really the strongest medicine, that we are a community. And I really feel that in Medford. When I got to the city, I loved, I really loved living in Somerville, but it wasn't like here. The women that I've met here feel like family. And so at this time, find a way, take a pause. Your family, deserves you taking a break and recharging because there's there's so much and you can't do it on an empty tank. You have to do it in relationship and full. I think that, you know. If it's with me, the better, but if it isn't, that's great too. However you got to do it, you know, like some women have said to me, I can't go right now. I can't open this all up. I can't talk about anything that's happening without it kind of breaking me. And that's great too, you know, that's great to recognize too, but then, But then put it down, find your way to energize and let's get, let's get going.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, I mean yeah I think you're right like that deep dark hole people are in, and I think even knowing that other people are in it too and that you can kind of relate to how that like might feel. I think is can be sort of comforting but also energizing right like and I do think what you're saying like Medford is a great community and and I feel like it's a community where the people that live here have a lot of power to like influence you know what goes on in the city so like they're, you know, and we've seen that and like with many different community groups in Medford where like, you know, citizens and residents of the of the city really can make a change in the city and voice what is important to us, which can feel really good in a time when on the scale of the country, everything is scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, in my school right now. So we're working on documentaries. I'm making a documentary with my students on their own health journey. We're learning about like movements that we can do and things we can eat and people and community. We keep going back to that. And I was showing them a documentary on the sit-ins in the South in the 60s. And so, and it occurred to me, it's like they, What did they do? They went out into the community and refused to not connect, you know, and so I just feel that that there's some power in just And obviously it wasn't a joyful time for them at that moment, but it became an opportunity that they connect now. This is the way to do it. You go into a community, you be part of that. And I just thought that was really powerful. I was like, just sitting in a place is powerful, even if they don't want you there.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you so much. And I'm excited to kind of learn more and maybe get involved in one of these meetups.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes. And Danielle, you should come this summer. I mean, who doesn't love kickball and having a mermaid party? Like all those things can happen at the same place.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, it sounds awesome. Well, thanks again.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time with me.
[Danielle Balocca]: Yeah, anytime. Thanks so much for listening to today's episode. The Medford Bites podcast is produced and moderated by Danielle Balacca and Shelly Keshaman. Music is made by Hendrik Idanese. We'd love to hear what you think about the podcast. You can reach out to us by email at medfordpod at gmail.com, or you can rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. Thanks so much for listening. Guys, what's the name of the podcast? Medford Bites. Medford Bites. Good job.